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Monthly Archives: March 2009

a blog that is improved immensly through the addition of ‘in bed’ in the place of every punctuation mark.

The background resembles the carpet in my high school English classroom. 70’s psycedelica carpet is just what the doctor ordered for concentration purposes!

 

Sugar: Its sweet sweet death

Sugar: It's sweet sweet death

Sweet, sugary satan on a stick!

 

SRSLY

SRSLY

So… The economic downturn was caused by Fannie May and ACORN. What a good little Beckite!

New Job (no mor lawyurin fur me) so I’ll be less consistent in posting (even less consistent than usual). I’m still here and will be reading my email. I’ll occasionaly post new kitteh’z as time permits.

WOOT! PAID WORK!

 

becuz I iz printin mai zine

cuz I iz printin mai zine

I think the New York Post just slipped over that fine line from tabloid journalism to wack-a-loon rumormongering.

Their ‘reporters’ can’t even pick up the phone and place a call to check if a hospital in Quebec has a CT scanner.

I R Mormon. And I hate you.

Weston Krogstadt thinks blogging is a hammer, nay a post maul, a sledge hammer, a veritable steam driven power hammer. As such, reading his blog is like watching a teenage boy masturbate… you walk into the room, your brain processes what is happening in 2/10ths of a second, you whirl and attempt over the next few months to scrub out your cerebellum with muretic acid. And through it all the mad wanking continues unabated.

Weston hates Mormon Haters, but he hates Muslims more. His consistent refrain since he emerged on my radar has been to try to berate a small subset of evangelical anti-mormon wack-a-loons to try the same tactics they use against Mormons against Muslims.  Far be it from me, the LOLCat blogger, to accuse someone of immaturity but Weston’s insults are just this side of the first grade. He is also fond of clumsy gay allusions, especially involving cartoon depictions of bears in leather. 

Weston is indeed the Lone Danite, riding hard in an all male, 110% manly, totally straight crusade to defend the Mormons. Which is why most of his latest posts have featured brawny men, armed with long spears and wrapped in leather.

mmmmm. Breechclouts. aaaaaaagg *drool*

 

Religiously Motivated Vigilante Justice is A-OK!

Religiously Motivated Vigilante Justice is A-OK!

*can’t touch this*

Do you find yourself bored by the Bloggernacle? Are you looking for a little more mental illness in your life? Are you beginning to suspect that Times & Seasons, By Common Consent and Feminist Mormon Housewives are a front for the Mormon Lizard Illuminati to misdirect your perfectly valid suspicions through a massive misdirection campaign?

OK, I can’t help you with that last one.

But your right!

One of my favorite and consistently funny sites is LDS Anarchy. LDS Anarchy is a place for UFO conspiracy buffs, gold bugs, Velikovsky nuts and visionaries to hang out. No, not the kind of visionaries that create new drugs or invent computer chips, the kind of visionaries that have visions of the end of the world and have to tell everyone.

It’s truely a mixed bag, and has challenged even my extensive reading of conspiracy sources to keep up. We’ve got communism, we’ve got whole fooders, we’ve got obscure religious panic, we’ve got God-cloning. I can’t keep up. I have a job and my boss starts looking at me funny when I’m carrying on about trying to find books published by insane French monks in the 1700’s.

So, sit back, pull up a browser (I suggest Google Chrome or Firefox) and put on your skeptic hats, it’s off to the Crazlympics!

 

Its whats for dinner!

It's what's for dinner!

Frankly, if our response to economic crisies were ‘You should have planned better’ we would probably have a revolution on our hands. David Neiwert at Ornicus makes a very good case for the idea that most of the ideologues on the right have a solid core of eliminationism running through their ravings, cumulating in policies that would inevitibly lead to outright class and racial warfare.

Crossposted at OneUtah.org

 

or I pop a cap in your ass.

or I pop a cap in your ass.

Twittering ones desire to have nuclear weapons is so… nerd.

 

I BELIV IN ZUUL!

I BELIV IN ZUUL!

And in Hello Kitty Darth Vaders.

And in Flying Saucers from the Earth Tummy.

And in kicking the Book of Mormon to the curb like Connor just did. We hates the Anti-Nephi-Lehis, we hates the liberal pacifists, we hates them, we hates them!

 

Pweeez don weevil teh tempul! Pweeez?

Pweeez don weevil teh tempul! Pweeez?

I found that using ‘shocked and appalled HBO Mormon” as a Google search. 

Reading the Daily Universe letters to the editor has paid off…

 

teh unholi HBO fur u

teh unholi HBO fur u

The Bloggernacle Back Burner, in the spirit of solidarity with my people and some of their more bizzare practices and prejudices will not watch it on HBO but will be using this via this to tape it off the internet.

YO HO HO, A PIRATE’S LIFE FOR ME!!

1235696131_news-pirate_bay

 

Ooookkkkaaay Chiquita. Ur Mama haz sum splainin tu du.

Ooookkkkaaay Chiquita. Ur Mama haz sum splainin tu du.

Abstinence Only Education at work.