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This post will assure my place in Religious Conservative Hell.

If you are looking up words on Wikipedia you do not have a porn addiction. You are curious and net-savvy

If you are 10, you do not have a porn addiction. You’re 10. Try a reference book.

If you look at porn 1 day a month, you do not have a porn addiction. You’re a slightly weak man.

Pornography addiction, or more broadly overuse of pornography, is excessive pornography use that interferes with daily life. There is no diagnosis of pornography addiction in the current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), and as with the broader proposed diagnosis of sexual addiction, there is debate as to whether or not the behaviors indicate an addiction.
Wikipedia – Pornography Addiction

In the interest of educating the young, the Bloggernacle Back Burner is pleased to present this modest guide to discreetly jacking off for the younger set.

If your mother finds your search history on the family computer you are a freaking idiot.


The BBB finds child pornography repugnant at a viceral level. The BBB feels the ‘barely legal’ trope in pornography is just as bad. The BBB is not a fan of the pornography industry.

The BBB is aware that the production of pornographic images and films is rife with the exploitation of women. The BBB wishes to emphasize that ethical alternatives to ‘Pornography’ exist, such as swimsuit magazines, lingerie catalogs, comic books, erotica and ones overactive imagination.

Masturbation is, at best, secondary to sex with a ‘hell yes!’ willing, committed and sexually monogamous partner. Adultery is far worse than masturbation, as is being sexually promiscuous. You can’t give yourself an STD. You can’t get yourself pregnant. You can’t commit a felony. This guide is presented because the BBB would rather walk in on a son masturbating than deal with AIDS or a teenage pregnancy.

If your pornography consumption is interfering with your existing relationships, you should seek help from a therapist. You can often access a therapist through your school, university or workplace. Unless you are going to harm someone they are legally required to keep your conversations confidential.


Technical Guide


Ctrl + Shift + Delete

This key combination clears the browser history. Get in the habit of doing this after every time you get off the computer. This will clear passwords, cookies and the browser history.

Teach your parents to do this to, it’s basic computer security.

Better yet, change the browser settings to not keep a history and write passwords down beside the computer. It’s more secure. You can do this in Firefox in Edit > Preferences > Privacy

Add Google Chrome as your browser and use incognito mode for all of your explorations.

Use a privacy mode extension on Firefox or Internet Explorer.

Set up a secondary email account with Gmail or Yahoo to store any… material you want to keep. Don’t sign into this account when you could get caught. Delete your browser history after you sign out.


Find and download a TOR/Vidalia bundle with Opera or Firefox. Put this on a USB stick and use it as your browser when accessing the internet

Boot the computer to LiveCD like Ubuntu, and use this to access the internet. You can order one for free, or burn a downloaded copy. This won’t work well for many wireless connections, but will work on almost all wired connections.

Learn how to use a secure file shredder to delete stuff… don’t trust the Recycle Bin

Do a research project for a class on censorship in foreign countries. This will give you cover to look at how bloggers get information out from a repressive regime. Some of their techniques can help you get out from your oppressive regime.

Keep your teenage ass away from sexting. Don’t even forward the images on. The legal state of sexting is in such a flux right now you could be charged with a felony. Report this kind of stuff to your parents, a teacher or a counselor.


If your parents are computer savvy they may have changed the DNS settings on your home computer router to OpenDNS. You will need to use Tor in these cases, or find alternate methods. Don’t use a LiveCD, the DNS data will expose your… exploration.

If they’re smart enough to use OpenDNS, they’re smart enough to catch you. If they’ve only changed the home computer settings to OpenDNS, change them to Google’s DNS settings.

If you are dealing with NetNanny/CyberPatrol type situation, just don’t use the computer unless you are absolutely certain what you are doing. These programs will catch you if you slip up. Booting to a Live CD will solve this

Teach yourself how to use Truecrypt and hide the material on a hidden partition on an iPod, USB key or external hard drive.

Do not store pictures or video on a public computer, your memory stick or anything that can be traced back to you.

Alternate Sources


Hormone hell, but you’ll never lack for material. Check the library for magazines, mainstream novels and e-books. Some manga and comic books may contain enough material for your… purposes

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition, mainstream women’s mags, lad mags & muscle mags. Check novel reviews, words like ‘Steamy, torrid’ etc are a good sign.

Lingerie catalogs are easy to find and contain lost of good… material.

Bodice ripper romance novels are like porn for girls. They can provide much the same effect for guys.

Erotica, written descriptions of sex, don’t look like porn and are easier to hide and read than porn. Lots on the internet, and it downloads faster through Tor than pics do. It’s also considerably easier to get out of a bookstore.

They also exist in comic book form.



Use something disposable. Unless you wash your own socks, mom will know. Plus, that’s kinda nasty dude.


A quiet location, like the bathroom is good. A bath with the water running, or a shower provides lubrication, covering noise and evidence disposal all in one handy and cleansing package.


Slow down sparky. Take it slow and learn what you like. This can be invaluable when you’re in a ‘hell yes’ mutually monogamous relationship. Nobody likes premature ejaculation.

Sexual Health Information


Read an encyclopedia or a sexual health book at the library. Check the reference section. This gives you some valuable education, puts you in the library with access to other… materials and makes your parents think you’re a keener.


Use Wikipedia judiciously, as per the discussion of the technical pitfalls. Clear your search history! Even if the library is uing a net-nanny or blocking software, educational use of Wikipedia will not get you into trouble. Just be aware of where you are.


A website like Scarleteen can give you good advice on sexual feelings, orientation questions, and relationship issues. You can access many of these sites from your local library.

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